5 years and 4 months ago, at a routine 36 week into the pregnancy checkup my  world changed….

It was revealed our yet to be born baby had a severe brain abnormality….

5 years and 3 months ago when Veronika was a week old, she had her first brain MRI….

which showed Veronika had suffered a massive stroke to both sides of her brain, worse on the right side than the left side of her brain. We were told she wouldn’t be able to use the left side of her body and she would never walk….

That conversation I remember like it was yesterday, not 5 plus years ago….

I remember crying an ocean of tears, and then some more….because it wasnt fair, she had already been diagnosed with Down Syndrome, a congenital heart defect, and they were deciding if she needed neurosurgery to place a shunt into her brain to drain the excess fluid….

and now they were telling me she would never walk…

Some time over the next few days I made a promise to Veronika….

that she would walk, and she would walk into her 1st day of kindergarten,

that she would be independent…..and she would walk independently.

…and so the therapy started…

so today I found bitter-sweet…

Today I feel that on some level I have failed Veronika, I have failed on that promise, that she will walk independently.

Today I feel that I havent fulfilled my promise to her…

Today Veronika had her wheelchair fitting.

Today I placed Veronika into the smallest wheelchair I have ever seen

and then she smiled

she then placed her right hand on the wheel and propelled herself forward a little

she knew what to do to ‘make it move’ without being shown

and then she smiled some more

and then I knew I hadn’t failed her,

but that this is independence

not the kind of independence I had imagined over 5 years ago

but independence

Veronika tires quickly, and can’t use her walking frame for long distances. So this will give Veronika a different kind of mobility. A more age appropriate ‘mobility aide’ than her pram…

and it will also be wonderful therapy for her for her left arm and hand, as she will need to use both of her hands…

So after her fitting we went back to school, and Veronika proudly wheeled herself forward just enough to get around the corner to show her classmates, who were just finishing of show and tell(perfect timing!).

After school Veronika’s brothers were excited to see Veronika and Jordan wanted to help Veronika