‘I don’t know how you do it’ or ‘how do you do it?’

I have had this said to me many times over the last 7+ years, but the months since Veronikas hip reconstruction on April 16th,  I have had heard this a lot.

So much has happened in the last 4 and half months, so many blogs have been composed in my head, I just havnt had time to sit and type my thoughts….

To be honest the last 4 and half months have been tough, incredibly tough. Those of you who have spent time in hospital know its tough, it’s even tougher when you are spending time in hospital in another state away from family and friends, and that’s even before you get to any of the medical ‘stuff’

It can be incredibly isolating, being away with your child who has undergone major surgery. The days are long, the nights are longer…..’how do you do it?’

Friendships are formed, friendships that may only linger for a while, others friendships that will last a life time….frienships that are formed ‘in real life’, other hospital Mums who are there with their child….other friendships that are formed ‘in the world-wide web’, no matter what time of the day or the night, when you need a chat or a vent, there is always someone who will respond to your post in an online support group, for me these groups are through Facebook….

However this can also be more isolating….

You see you ‘log on’ to post in one of the groups, the highs or the lows of the day, the challenges and the amazing things your child has accomplished through the day….

as you start to scroll through fb you see all the things back home you are missing….

so the thing that keeps you connected also has the ability to make you feel even more isolated…

it also has the ability to make you frustrated….

as you sit by your child’s bed, hoping and praying that you made the right decision to hand your child over for a surgery that ‘realistically there is a strong probability that Veronika will not walk again following the surgery’….and then there are the complications that follow the surgery and you question even further….

all the while you scroll through fb and you see people’s ‘first world problems‘ and you sometimes think….‘if that was all I had to worry about my life would be much easier’…but then I think, it is what it is, and that is that person in that moment, and that is their journey…

Then there are the special friendships that are formed around hospitals….friendships that you know will last a life time….

friendships that when their child is unwell, really unwell your heart breaks…and you wish you could be there to help your friend, to sit by their child’s bed, and hold their hand and make it all better for them…and that is ‘how you do it’ because those friendships that have developed over the years are the ones that keep you going….