My baby girl will be 4 in a couple of weeks, and she isn’t asking  for a Princess or Fairy or a whatever themed party…..she wouldnt even know its her birthday soon….and I would have to say as a parent that’s not really fair….

Isn’t celebrating surviving another year worth celebrating in a way your child wants….

Isn’t a lot of the joy of celebrating, the lead up and excitement the child shows?

but is it fair to make the decision on how to celebrate for them?

to party or not to party, that is the question…

Of course we will celebrate, after all another year has passed….another year of Veronika’s life, a life that is so precious.

A life that at one point, 4 years ago we thought might not survive her birth.

4 years ago today, I was at my 36 week pregnancy checkup….just a routine check up as far as I was concerned. That day three little words completely changed my life

“are you OK?”

these were the 3 little words my OBGYN asked me, after he saw something on the ultrasound machine, froze the image on the screen, then went over and pulled his text-book off the shelf, and flicked thru it to he found a picture….

“yes, that(pointing to the ultra sound screen) looks like that(pointing to the image in his text-book)”..

at that point he called up and booked an urgent specialist ultra sound, that I was to have 2 hours later. He explained as best as he could, what he was seeing on the ultra sound screen, ‘some severe abnormalities in the ventricles in her brain’, but something he had only seen less than a hand full of times over his 30+ years of obstetrics, so he really couldn’t give me to much information until after the ultra sound.

I thought I was ok, I thought I had taken in the information he had given me, that was until he asked me

“are you Ok?”

…..lots has happened in our lives between then and now, too much to go into now….

Then there is sadness that your child doesnt really know it’s her birthday coming up……the sadness that she isn’t continually asking for/telling me what gift she would like for her birthday.

The sadness of trying to figure out what to get her…

Its difficult to get something age appropriate because of her delays a lot of things 4 year old girls would ask for aren’t really appropriate for her.

Then there is the fact Veronika needs so much therapy equipment, so I think I could get her the rope and descender she needs for her swing, or make a start on the platform and climbing ladder(I want to start making her own  therapy room at home, with everything set up ready to go so we can work on her fine and gross motor skills), or that swing which also  help develop her core stability, or those puzzles for her fine motor skills….etc….

but what we get for her should be a Birthday gift not a therapy gift….

so that is my dilema….

what do I get for My Princess?